16 4JSUS
The year was 2004; we were at a college showcase fastpitch softball tournament in Chesterfield County, Virginia. Lauren was not herself on the field. It was easy to see she was struggling with something within herself. She was not interacting with or cheering on her teammates as usual. She was definitely not playing up to her usual level.
Her college was already picked out, though playing ball had little to do with it. She wanted to attend a Christian college in South Carolina. She had visited there and fell in love with the campus, the area and the atmosphere. It was a small school, very personal, Lauren liked that about it. I had taken a couple of days off work so she could be at this tournament to support her teammates, though the college part meant little to her. Lauren’s dream was to major in Youth ministry with a minor in music and education, her life’s desire to serve her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ as a youth pastor and worship leader. As the day wore on it became more and more evident Lauren was not where she longed to be. She had played fastpitch softball since she was 12 years old, though she had only played because her younger sister Amanda was going to play and she knew she would have to be there all day anyway. At one point she played on 3 teams at the same time. 1 for Babe Ruth, 1 for Little League and one for USSSA travel ball. I can remember being in Manassas, Virginia for a Babe Ruth state All-star series and Little League All-star state championship the same weekend. Amanda was playing a USSSA State championship tournament in Richmond at the same time. I drove over 1000 miles in 3 days to attend and coach games.
Between games, I asked her what was wrong. It turned into quite a long conversation, not one I enjoyed but will never forget. She had to make a decision. Why was she there, why did she play and where was God calling her to be. After that tournament, Lauren decided God was calling her to focus more on her youth group and her ministry.
After a couple of days, she told me she had made her decision. She wrote her coaches a letter to let them know, this World Series would be her last. She wrote and told them God had told her he had other things in store for her life and it wasn’t easy but God’s will came first in her life. This team of girls and coaches had been together for 5 years, they were like a second family to Lauren.
My mind races back to days when Lauren was 11 years old. She attended a Youth mission outreach called Impact Virginia. She was so touched by the people she served. That week she made the choice to give her life to Christ. That decision set her path and I watched as Lauren grew in her walk with Christ. She was always seeking to reach out to others, telling about her experience and inviting them to join her at youth or at church. We were attending a Baptist church in Richmond, Virginia. I was doing sound for our worship team at our church. One night when she was 13 years old, after she had recently attended a YEC youth conference in Richmond, Lauren was there with me when a good friend of one of the members walked in, he turned, looked at Lauren, whom he did not know and told her the Lord had a word for her. He told her to continue on the path the Lord had shown her. Lauren later told us, God had spoken to her at that conference. We saw Lauren steadily grow. Her growth in her faith challenged me to keep up. The time came when we felt the Lord leading us in a different direction. Our church was changing. The senior pastor left as did the associate. Through times of interims, we began to see the fire in Lauren slowly going out. We decided it was time to move on. After much visiting of various churches, we visited Hanover Friends church. Lauren immediately knew this was where she was being called to. She met the Youth pastor, Brian Hoover, almost instantly they clicked. Lauren’s walk with the Lord began to grow again; we saw the fire and passion for Christ fanned within her. As she grew in her walk with Christ she began to struggle over priorities and where she was spending her time. Playing on multiple teams, doing show choir and being an honor student were taking considerable time. She desired more than ever to be a part of every aspect of her church and her youth group. She desired to lead worship as well as provide leadership in other ways. Being a parent, I tried to tell Lauren she needed balance in her life. She did not need to be at church or involved all the time. She told me there was no balance in serving Christ. I did not understand. As Lauren tried to give more to the Lord, I challenged her more and more to live what she preached. The more I challenged her the more the Lord challenged me. We had long discussions at times lasting late into the night about truths God was revealing to her in his word. I continued to try and hold her to that balance, wanting her to have enough “church” to be a good person but not to give her life to it. I did not understand. The stress was obvious in her life as she struggled between what she believed and what I was telling her.
On Labor Day weekend in 2003 in a small field in the mountain town of Goshen, Virginia, Lauren met her Savior face to face.
The way she put it in an essay she wrote about the encounter, “I was ruined, my life was changed. My motives for life were different, pointed at a different goal.” She titled the anthology which contained that essay “Sold Out”. She felt it was her defining moment.
Lauren fulfilled her commitment to finish out the season with her team. But after her decision to quit playing ball, it was as if the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders. She had a peace and joy on her face that was incredible.
She lived for a different purpose. Everything she did, she looked for opportunities to share her faith with all whom she came in contact with. The games she played at that World Series were some of the best she ever had. I will never forget how she ministered to one of her teammates and the sound of the unashamed laughter of true joy that was constantly a part of who she was. When she had begun to follow Jesus it had cost her some of her friends and made her the object of much ridicule, but the more she followed and the more she was always the same, the more people recognized she had found something that they had not and they desired to know what it was.
In all of her sports Lauren sought out the Number 16 as her jersey number. Everyone knew Lauren was 16, that’s why one of her coaches even called her, 16. When Lauren received her first car, a very used Nissan Sentra, she wanted a personalized license plate that told everyone what she stood for. Her and her mom spent many hours online with the DMV and finally came up with 164JSUS. This meant #16 played for Jesus, quite a bold statement for a 16 year old in this day and time.
In 2003 one of Lauren’s closest friends and teammates was diagnosed with cancer. This was a crisis of faith for Lauren, but she stood by the side of her friend, loving her as Jesus would. I can remember talking to her and telling her we do not always understand the Lord’s will and we do not always get answers to our questions when we want them and we did not know what God might want to do through that situation, no matter how bad it seemed at the time.
In October of 2004 Brian and his wife Jennifer decided it was time for them to return to SC. Lauren was heart broken. She was upset for several days, another crisis of faith, time to stand on her own and not depend on the pastor who had discipled her. When I asked her what she wanted to do, she told me she was going to be the leader God had called her to be and do everything she could to keep her youth group moving forward until a new pastor was called. They were due to leave at the end of December. Lauren continued her role in our youth worship team. I was doing sound for our adult worship team; they met at different times on the same night. Lauren had finished her practice and asked if she could run to McDonalds to get herself and her sister a milkshake. Our adult praise team was doing our weekly bible study. We heard the crash outside the church. Scott, a member of our team ran immediately outside to see if he could help, I followed him, dialing 911 on my cell phone. As I approached the car, I saw it was Lauren. Scott was in front of the car on his knees. I was the first one to the car, it was locked, I had to use my key to unlock the door. Lauren was unconscious. We talked to her until the ambulance arrived. People handed me her belongings that had been strewn across the road, including the original copy of her Sold Out project. Lauren had turned into the path of an oncoming pickup truck, her view shielded by a vehicle turning left in front of her. In the next 24 hours, hundreds of people came to see her in the intensive care unit at the hospital where I work. Lauren’s funeral was held on Nov 23rd, over 1500 people attended. When the message was given, an altar call was offered, 252 people that day laid their names and phone numbers on that altar, committing their lives to Jesus Christ. Their ages ranged from 12 to 71 years old.
Why? What was it that propelled those people to step out of their comfort zones? I believe it was because they had seen in one 16 year old life, one ordinary 16 year old girl, what they were looking for. You see Lauren had surrendered her life to Christ, living out her life verse for all her knew her to see. Whether she was on the ball field, at school, with her youth group, she was always the same. Her verse, 1st Corinthians 2:2, “For I decided to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.” Lauren placed her faith, hope and trust in Jesus Christ.
Lauren did not put her faith in a message, in her friends, or in her pastor. She put her faith, hope and trust in the person, Jesus Christ.
She was willing to step out of the crowd. To be different, no matter the cost. Some of her friends did not understand, her parents did not even understand at the time. But she stayed the course, lived her life for Christ, surrendered her hopes and fears to him, and found what she was looking for, living it out for others to see.
In Lauren’s Sold Out project among other story’s about her walk with Christ I found a poem about surrender called "Surrender brings Peace". I have included it her for you to see. Pastor Brian and Chasen have taken this simple poem of faith and crafted a praise song I believe that is a gift from the Lord above as a Christmas gift for our family. They and we want to share it with you as that is what Lauren was all about, surrendering her life and sharing her Savior with others.
Lauren graduated early. God gave her an early release. 2 weeks before the accident Lauren was working at the day care of our church. She loved the kids and loved being a “teacher”. She stuck her head in Pastor Brian’s office and told him she “wanted to see Jesus.” Brian said “OK” and kept working. Lauren said “No, I want to see Jesus!” He said, “Well Lauren, we all want to see Jesus.” She said, “No, you don’t understand! I really want to see Jesus.” God granted her that one wish.
I mentioned earlier that I did not understand what she was doing as she surrendered her life to Jesus and even tried to talk her into balance in her life. It wasn’t until November of 2005 that I found out why my eyes have been opened since the accident. I was preparing for a message at a 5th quarter party that we were having at our church and was looking for the exact date of Lauren’s baptism. I knew it was written in her bible. When I opened it I found a page titled “Mileposts in my walk”. One of the last entries was a prayer from Lauren to God for me, for my eyes to be opened to “the surrender thing.” I now understand that there is no gray area, only black and white, in or out, all or nothing. There is no such thing as balance in serving or surrendering to Jesus.
Don’t try and tell me that you alone cannot make a difference, with Christ, you can make a difference. I have seen first hand how one life, one 16 year old life, surrendered to Jesus Christ, can change hundreds of people including me, for I will never be the same without Lauren and I will never be the same for knowing her.
For you see, God gave me the awesome privilege of being Lauren’s Dad.
Wayne Parker
164JSUS